When I speak to people about their beliefs when it comes to their business success, they might produce a list of affirmations or ‘I am’ statements – which are BRILLIANT! However, you could recite them 200 times a day in the mirror and you are not likely to see any change if you don’t have a belief system that supports them. And by belief system, I don’t mean if you believe in God, the Universe, Gay Marriage – I’m talking about those nitty gritty beliefs that lie in our subconscious – the ‘shadow self’. The code that was created in your brain’s operating system before the age of 7. If you haven’t explored this yet, welcome to the dark side!
I am so very grateful for the programming that was imprinted on me by my parents as it’s got me to this very point, but what we believe to keep us safe at 7 – is not as beneficial at 27 (and then some….). Our parents gave us quality beliefs like ‘running with scissors is bad’ – but I bet now, you could run with scissors and be fairly confident you’ll be safe. This belief is fairly overt, it’s likely to sit in your conscious and you can easily see how at this age, you can run safely with scissors when required. It’s the beliefs that sit in our subconscious that cause the most harm when they no longer serve us. Take for example ‘if I want something, it will get taken away’. It’s tricky little snippets of code like this that has made me become a belief busting machine.
Imagine how this belief – ‘if I want something, it will get taken away’ – has unwittingly played out in my life. I have not reached goals; I have not made sales when they’re sitting there for the taking; I haven’t spoken to guys I really like. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I’ve never got anything I have wanted – I got my beautiful car; I spent 6 weeks in the US last year; I bought my new laptop when I wanted it; but one of two things have usually allowed me to get things that I want – I either find it fairly inconsequential and thus the belief/fear is small enough for me to do it anyway; like the laptop. Or, I’ve felt REALLY guilty about it for a while; like I had to justify it to all of the people around me so that I could keep it; like my car.
I have had relative business success; I work for myself; I live very comfortably; I earn 3 – 4 times more than when I was on salary. That’s successful, right? However, I have HUGE goals – I don’t want to play small; I want to get my message of earning what you’re worth to as many women as possible; I want success for women to be the norm; I want to travel frequently (And now that I’ve had the taste of business class, I want that to be normal too!); I want real love – all of which takes considerable time; energy and willingness to go out on a limb and say loudly to the world what I want.
13 minutes ago, I could not have said out loud what I wanted. God forbid it all to get taken away.
Would you like to know where it came from? At the age of 5, my family went to Disneyland. It was heaven on earth (still was last year!) and I remember meeting Snow White. She asked me if I would like to go to her Castle. Ummmm, yes! In my little 5-year-old brain I thought ‘oh my goodness, she will take me to the castle, and when we get there, she will show me what is behind that door at the top. I’d LOVE to know what’s inside there.’ I really wanted to see inside that door and I was just given the ticket. As Snow White started to walk with me hand in hand to the castle, my mum starts running towards us and grabs me – this woman was not about to take her child. When Snow White told her where we were off to, Mum said no and we went our separate ways. I was devastated. It is only now that I realise what it really has meant for me.
Did my Mum do a terrible thing? Of course not. She did what was sensible. And we all know it’s probably cleaning products behind that locked door! Shadow beliefs are part of being human. They are what shape us and our journey here on Earth. It is up to us to find those that no longer serve us and change the programming – hit CTRL + ALT + DEL on our brain and implant new beliefs that support what we’re trying to achieve. There are MANY tools in which to do this – my favourite is FasterEFT – but use whatever works for you. Commit to busting beliefs and you are committing yourself to business success, relationship success; and life success!
Tonight I have vanquished this belief and I’m excited about what the future holds. It’s ok for me to want something and put my full energy behind it until I succeed. I will achieve my goals and I’m really freaking excited about. Have you uncovered any shadow beliefs? I’d love to hear about them – comment below or join the conversation at joinladyboss.com. <3